A Crisis of Faith

We all have crisis of faith at some point in our lives, where a problem or tragedy occurs that causes us to think about our faith and question if we really believe or not. In my own life, this crisis came after attending Regent’s School of Divinity. My husband and I had earned our Masters of Divinity so we had been trained in God’s Word, but it did not prepare us for the loss of our three year old daughter in a tragic accident in our home in the summer of 2007. She choked on a piece of meat while running around our pool and fell in while we were inside talking and unaware. She died we believe from choking on the meat she pulled off of my plate, but it was thought to be a drowning because she was pulled from the pool. Where was God? Why did He not perform a miracle and revive our daughter – did we not have enough faith?

My husband and I were devastated and I had to really settle the faith questions in my mind. Did I really believe there was a heaven and my daughter was there now? Did I still believe God was good and it was Satan who was out to “kill, steal, and destroy (Jn 10:10)?” Ultimately I had to settle this in my mind without attempting to understand what exactly happened; like Job I had to accept bad things happen even to Christians who believe in Jesus and miracles. I had to trust in God and lean on him to keep existing each day and to stand for my marriage. It is hard for a marriage to stand with the loss of a child, especially when it is your only child. Yet, by the grace of God we are still married and still standing strong in our faith. We cannot explain why it happened, but we can say we still believe in a loving God who was there to support us in our darkest hour! Crisis situations can strengthen our faith and enhance our character if we keep focusing on Jesus.